Many guys contact me about girls they have lost, in a way or another. I notice that there is a common factor to those losses. Something that happened since the beginning and should not have happened.
The girl caught the guy into a supplicative frame since the beginning! The guy did not notice it, or he let it happen! Many of these guys managed to get the girl. They even got longer relationships, often quite satisfying relationships. Often, they supplicated since the beginning. In other cases, over time, the girl managed to have them supplicate. It was the fear of losing the girl to have them – often in an unconscious way – into the subservient attitude towards her.
Pleasing a girl is good when you come from a masculine, non-subservient frame. In converse it will harm you if you lack seduction skills. It will harm you if you do not understand female psychology in matters of supplication. It is complicated. When a woman senses that you supplicate it’s bad, bad! There is nothing good for you in it! When she senses that you supplicate to get something in return from her it is bad, bad, bad! Does not matter is what you want sex, affection of whatever you want from her.
There are a few things you need to consider about supplication and female psychology:
1. You cannot please a girl in a masculine way before you got her to want you in the sexual and emotional area. You need to first establish emotional and sexual dominance on her! If you do that you are a friend, not her lover. Without that she will interpret whatever you do to get her as supplication, even if it’s not what you mean.
2. It is not true that a woman makes it difficult only to weak males. Yes, a woman runs tests on guys to exclude the weak males, but it does not end there. Unless she is desperate, she needs to screen the strong males, too. She must make it difficult for them, too. She needs to do that, otherwise the strong male will get 100% of the power and she will get zero power. This is because she needs a strong male who does what she wants. She does not need “only” a strong male. She needs to have the strong male work for her!
My actual girlfriend recently verbalized it well! “Franco, during the time a man is having sex with a woman he has all the power!” Wise girl!
So, when she is sure that she wants you she will continue her attempts of having you supplicate! For this and other reasons the most dangerous belief you can have is that you can “relax” after you get a woman.
3. When a woman has excluded the weaker males and you managed to get her; she needs to get power over you! There are many other ways she can try to achieve that. Among those ways there is the attempt of having you supplicate to her. Women with an instinctual life stronger than average will be the ones to insist much more in having you supplicate. Also, women who have problems with men will do that to avoid intimacy.
4. The attempt of having you supplicate is a tough thing for the woman, an almost impossible dilemma for her. A woman has very conflicting feelings about supplication. A part of her will want you supplicate to her to get power over you. A part of her will hate you if you do.
Some women have this conflict at an extreme. It can at worst destroy their chances of having good relationships with men. For some women it is almost an obsession. They feel that to be with a man they must have him supplicate! It comes back to damage their relationships! This is because when they will succeed doing that to a man they will begin to hate him.
Why a woman has this conflict about supplication? Because without it she cannot get anything out you, the strong guy. She is at the mercy of your active, penetrative desire. With a strong guy she cannot capitalize on her attractiveness. He will take her and then… leave. She must get power over him to have him do things for her.
In converse, another part of her feels a drop of her desire towards the him if he surrenders and supplicates. The more he does that the more he becomes unattractive to her. Who would consider attractive someone who humiliates himself? Beside this: when you supplicate you stop being “penetrative” on a symbolic level. This means for her instincts that no children will be born! No active, “penetrative” act is for the unconscious of the woman the same like no babies!
At that point there will be two alternative ways she can try to solve that dilemma:
5. First alternative. Without attraction and desire towards you she can control herself by logic. She can make “logical choices.” Something that happens a lot in modern society is that girls make logical choices. They choose a guy they can control, while controlling their own desire. That way they can avoid for some times negative feelings about his supplication. It will not work forever!
Over time Nature will do her course. Their desire will push them to test him after a long delay or to cheat on him. The delayed testing will surprise the guy big time! He will feel: “How is it possible? All was so perfect.” No, it was not perfect!
6. Second alternative. If you have skills and have her feel desire and attraction for you since the beginning it will be another story. Her instincts will push her to have you supplicate to her because you have value for her! She will begin to try to break through your defenses to get power over you since the beginning!
If you supplicate to her that will help her control her desire. Over time she will lose it. I have described this in other posts. A typical female strategy to control desire having you make seductive mistakes. For example, inducing logical talk. If you do it becomes easier for her to control herself. Why would a woman want to control her desire? Simple: because if she cannot control herself, she cannot screen you for what she wants! In that sense by supplicating, you are shooting at your own foot! You are helping her control her own desire!
Remember: a woman can try to have you supplicate since the beginning or can get back to that later over time. Women from more traditional, patriarchal cultures may give you at first the vibe that all is easy. Then, with a delay, may try to have you supplicate. That is because they need male support more. Women from more modern and “equal” cultures may do that in a massive, way, since the beginning. They need men less. If you supplicate either way you will suffer now or later!
This is because supplication is a one-way road. When you get started with that it becomes more and more difficult to “fix” the effect that has on the desire of the woman. Nature created this process to have a woman have sex with another man other than you. When you supplicate her primitive brain will force her towards two possible directions:
7. Alternative one. If she has “moral values” and cannot cheat on you or dump you she will become depressed and unsatisfied. That will impair your quality of life. Trust me: a depressed woman can make your life a hell more than a freak! At least a freak is very often entertaining!
8. Alternative two. If she could not care less about “moral values” she will, without regrets, dump you. Then she will go to the next man or she will cheat on you. Women serious about their emotions, sometimes to obsessive levels. She will need a lot of drama to justify to herself “why” she must dump you, before she does that.
So, what you need to do? First, you need to detect in yourself the impulse of supplicating in time. Before you open your mouth or do whatever ask yourself: “Am I now trying to kiss her up?”
If the answer is yes stop there. When you have that impulse, it means that you are not sure can you get new women at will. It can also mean that you are being in a state of neediness. You need to fix that in yourself first!
Second, you need to be able to detect when she is attempting to have you supplicate. Then you must block her attempts of doing that. This needs to become for you something you can do like a routine, on the back of your head.
You need to make an integral part of your screening the art of detecting since the beginning two things:
9. Noticing are you going to say, do or avoid doing something that can be supplicating to her! Stop that immediately and reframe yourself!
10. Follow her behavior! Detect her attempts of having you supplicate! Reframe and stop her from doing that without verbalizing it or arguing with her! I will post later what are the several strategies a woman uses to have you supplicate.
You do not need to become paranoid about this.
What she is doing is only part of nature. Think of it like a natural phenomenon: a sunrise or a beautiful lake during summer. When you will become good at preventing supplication you will enjoy mind blowing sex. You relationships with women will be better relationships. Women will feel strong attraction when failing at have you supplicate!
Losing a girl: you must be able to leave and lose a girl at the drop of a hat! Its’s a paradox: when you are able to do lose girls, you will not lose girls anymore! They will sense it and stay with you. Some guys come from a frame or scarcity because the lack the skill of getting as many women as they want. They feel fear and do not give girls the vibe they can let them go any time!
For this reason, a few words about “losing a girl.” Even if you lose a woman remember that when she likes you, she will always remember that you did not supplicate. She will remember that even after years. It is always, always better for you to let a woman go in that mind state compared to spend time with her and supplicate!
For her it has the same meaning as when you cannot get a girl when you have an erection. For her it means being unable to get power over you! As women get supplicated all the time by guys they will remember that even after years. It is always good practice to have a woman feel that you can let her go. It is good practice if she persists since the beginning in trying to have you supplicate.
This is because not all the women are the same in matters of instincts. There are women who have a more powerful and barbaric instinctual life. They will never stop trying to have you supplicate. These are often the most problematic ones. The better girls will get into receptive mode when they notice that you stand for yourself. They will still try to get power over you but in other less problematic and less humiliating ways.
Time is gold in business and… in seduction as well! You cannot waste time finding out. It would waste too much time and resources. When you know that she likes you must give the vibe that you can let her go, without looking back. If she persists in her attempts of having you supplicate give that vibe!
Stick always since the beginning to the rule: no supplication! No need to be an asshole. You can do that with calm and determination and while being a real gentleman. Losing a girl now is a far better option than trying to recover from supplication after! This is because recovering from supplication is a battle uphill. When you supplicate Nature directs her hormones elsewhere faster than you can imagine! Preventing supplication is far easier and more rewarding than having to “fix” it later.
Supplication is a one-way road! Do not get into that road since the beginning!
Info about Franco’s coaching here:
First one is free!
Dating Advice And Female Relationship Coaching For Men That Actually Works!
don’t you think there is a fine line between asking for something (pleading) and being respected? In the sense, if a girl doesn’t give you, for example, sex and affection and rightly you expect her to give you what good she knows how to give, is that pleading or having principles that you don’t discuss and don’t let yourself be emasculated? example: you want sex or affection from her, she refuses. You don’t beg and you don’t ask. She can very well interpret: “here, another men does everything I say, that gives everything without receiving anything in return, is not a real man.” Then one day it may happen that you will see her prefer others to you and you don’t know how to explain why you say but I’m not begging her but still I don’t get what I want.
Let me know what you think
Franco, aren’t you interested in bringing your content to Brazil in the Portuguese language? there is a large uninformed target audience here as well.
Franco worth his weight in pure gold, because reading his posts I realised why I had success in 30 years of marriage, and why I failed with some ladies, before and during my marriage. No kidding, he worth his weight in pure gold!
Answer for Simone from the guy who dont beg: seeing you preferring others who beg for affection and sex, and he knows you well enough, he understand that you expect that begging to achieve power over them. Afterwards his problem became not how to obtain sex and affection from you, his problem become how to get rid of you after he realise the fact that you are a control freak and you keep bothering him mysteriously at home and at his work for years…
Question for Franco: I’d like a post about how to get rid of obsessed women, the ones who can not accept the fact that a man has enough dignity to refuse a woman below his standards.
Note: the guy who dont beg is happily married and he want to stay in that marriage.
This article very nicely shows that the “game” of sexes is basically a power game which is won on the level of options. If you have enough options to “substitute” your partner, you win the game. If you have more options (than she does), you are able to walk away. So the solution to all of this is to increase your options. But this is only the first step. It is not enough just to generate many new leads, what you really are after, is leads of high quality. Here the task becomes difficult. Lets assume for the sake of simplicity, that you look for a girl having two basic traits (1) physically attractive and (2) “psychologically healthy and is able to love”. Assuming that both traits are distributed normally (ggl normal distribution) the product of those two traits gives you a quite low amount to chose from. Basically in a given population “there are not so many psychically attractive and psychologically healthy women” given. And those women are fought for quite strongly.
Hello John will keep that in mind. Yes female stalkers are a pain.