Sexual Escalation Explained – How To Turn A Girl On

Sexual escalation is all about what you do to a woman on the physical level in order to make sex with her happen. This is the proper answer to the question how to turn a girl on.

Whatever you do that doesn’t include physical contact with her is not sexual escalation. Without sexual escalation a boy turns into girl. It makes her feel you are looking for girls for friendship!

What you do to her on the level of the emotional communication – before and during sexual escalation – is as important as sexual escalation itself.

Stimulating a woman’s emotionality by the means of communication is extremely important for having her sexually aroused.

Anyway, without proper sexual escalation, what you have done in the area of communication to seduce her will become totally useless.

By that you’ll almost certainly have her “hot and bothered.” In spite of that sex will be pretty much unlikely to happen if you do not take the role of the man and escalate physically!

This is likely to be your problem if you are a nice guy. Nice guys get rejected by women exactly for this point: failure to escalate. They do not know how to turn a girl on.

Another group of guys gets it wrong the other way.

They go on her as strong as the District Attorney, scare her and then have her withdraw out of fear and lack of comfort.

What really works is in the middle.

Proper sexual escalation takes two very important factors into consideration at the same time:

1. Her need for a man who is sexually active and self-confident enough to act on her body without shame. It makes clear to her that you are looking for the woman in her, not looking for girls for friendship!

2. At the same time understands her need for comfort, before she can be sexually receptive with a man.

If you only pay attention to the first part, you’ll scare her off. If you pay attention only to the second part – her need for comfort – then you are behaving like a nice guy. That will turn her off and keep you in the friend zone.

A normal woman will become receptive sexually when you are able to create attraction by being bold and self-confident and – at the same time – able to make her feel comfortable about being sexually taken.

So how do you properly escalate?

I am first going to share with you the psychological background of it and then a description of how to properly escalate to sex.

You’ve probably read from my Manual of Seduction that each time we are dealing with a woman we are actually dealing with two women:

1. The Social Woman (Let’s call her also the Socially Adjusted Woman)

2. The Primative Woman (Let’s call her the Cave Woman or the Instinctual Woman)

The term “Primative” means the part of her that is related to her wildest instinct.

You will be able to properly escalate sexually when you are able to “talk” to “both women” at the same time.

These “two women” can follow totally different paths in the same woman, and have totally different behaviors.

In some women, I have observed such an instinctual strength that it was like the Primative Woman would be talking another language compared to the Social Woman in them.

Really, it’s like a double personality.

Some women are pretty in-touch with their archaic part. Others are completely unaware of how this part of their personality affects their behavior. Especially these one will think that you are looking for girls for friendship if you do not escalate.

When interacting with you the Social Woman will tend to control herself and relate to you in the communication, will tend to “connect” with you and act so that the interaction with you is “socially acceptable”.

The Primative Woman will be the one who will test you hard for dominance and masculine ego strength. She will be the one who will get sexually excited when you show her that you are The Man. (or shall I say… The Cave Man :D)

This primative part of her will try to get power over you by all means available – legal and non-legal.

Expect her to be wild and totally immoral: you do not only hunt women, you are also “hunted” by them.

Only, the means used by women to “hunt” you will be totally different compared to the means used by you to “hunt” women.

Nice guys are usually unable to notice how actively attracted women will hunt them.

Your sexual escalation will be successful when you create enough comfort for her that she does not feel a conflict between her social part and her primative part.

By stimulating both parts of her at the same time your sexual escalation will be successful.

Important: the more feminine a woman is, the more she will wildly shift the responsibility of the process totally on your shoulders. That is why without proper escalation a boy turns into girl!

This is one challenge when you escalate.

For example the Social Woman in her may talk to you at your encounter about how she “truly believes in equal rights.”

At the same time the Primative Woman will possibly test you by telling you how her former boyfriend had a better job than you.

You need to be able to detect the “game” of both women in her while escalating.

Quite often the unconscious purpose of the woman when she does this stuff is a desire that you might be able to have her feel comfortable about her conflicts.

This is because a woman needs to be able to control her own desire in order to “hunt” you.

Whatever you do to help her into that plays against you.

In a situation like this if you take her at face value and begin to “really” talk with her about her insecurities she will promptly use that to control her own desire and resist your escalation.

Again, if you begin to argue with her she will use also that to control her own sexual desire.

When you are creative during your escalation and have her feel like she would not need to “solve” the evident contradictions in herself, you win… she surrenders to you.

The more a woman is sexually excited, the more this mismatch between the social and primative parts will come out in her.

Steps of proper sexual escalation

It is a process where you do two things mainly:

– Slowly make her emotional when around you – while making her comfortable about her insecurities.

– Slowly touch her each time a “little bit more” until she begins to feel it as ‘good’ and gets sexually aroused.

This way of escalating is called: fractionated sexual escalation.

Fractionated sexual escalation is when you touch her “little bit” while observing her nonverbal reactions.

When you notice that she gets aroused and at the same time feels comfortable, you touch her “little bit more” and your touching becomes more and more audacious until it’s overtly sexual.

For example, this may be lightly touching her finger, hugging her, sitting close to her, kissing her, touching her back and so on… all in an ”escalating” fractionated way.

Why it is necessary to make her emotional?

Because the main channel for female sexual horniness is not visual like for men.

Women get horny when they feel strong emotions when around a man.

At that point she rationalizes: “He is making me feel like this? I must like him a lot.”

Example of sexual escalation:

– You touch her finger

– She is compliant with that

– You take all her hand in your hand

– She is compliant with that

– You put your hand behind her back

– She is compliant with that

– You hug her

– She is compliant with it

– You kiss her

– She kisses you back

– You begin to undress her

– She does not resist

If she resists at any step… you withdraw. Then wait a little bit… build little bit more comfort by talking…then start again from the point you were before.

LRM – Last Minute Resistance.

My take on last minute resistance is this: normal women with a balanced personally usually do not do it.

Women who exhibit LMR are usually women with problems who are unsure about how to bind a man to themselves.

Thus, they begin to get nervous at the last minute and resist. There are many reasons for LMR. I am going to discuss this in-depth in another article.

LMR is a situation where she is compliant sexually to your escalation until the isolated venue (for example your flat or hotel room), for a while in the isolated venue, and then she begins to resist at the last very steps of your escalation.

Notice: this happens in the isolated venue because… there is no female competition there, so she feels comfortable enough playing that card.

If you encounter her LMR what you absolutely need to do is to freeze her out totally.

If that does not work you need to completely cut the communication with her and tell her, without telling her, you aren’t going to see each other anymore.
Don’t worry: you are not being a bad guy here. If she displays LMR you can be sure that she will not ask whether you’ll see each other again either. Women play this kind of stuff dirty and hard.

This is because LMR is an ultimate attempt of the Primative Woman to nail you into supplication so she can free herself to be impregnated by a man stronger than you who does not let her do that stuff.

So, if you still agree to communicate with her when she is displaying LMR you are only another notch in her belt, another nice guy who does not know ”the rules of engagement”.

You are done.

So, in the case you get LMR follow these steps:

1. First freeze her out. For example you dress, go to watch television, make yourself a sandwich, choose a program you like, and become totally immersed in your own fun.

You cut the communication with her.

For a woman a cut of communication is about the same dangerous situation like you sleeping with Pamela Anderson naked and close to you, yet not being able to touch her.

The most dreadful thing you can do to a woman is cut the communication with her.

At a certain point she will seek communication with you (believe me she will) and then, after a while, you will begin to escalate again.

Instead, making the mistake of continuing when she is displaying LMR will give her a chance to rationalize the situation and say stuff like: ”I am not sure if we are meant to be together” or ”I just do not feel like it is right” and so on.

2. If this does not work do not do the stupid thing of sleeping close to her overnight. If you do that you instantly become her eunuch male friend. If you cannot go home, at least go very far from her to sleep… at the worst tell her that you have a headache and need to go home, and then leave… and as you leave, wish her a good night’s sleep.

Don’t tell her when and how you are going to meet again. Give her a kiss on the check and wish her a good night. Then leave. Boy turns into girl when he is supplicates to her! Here you are being a real man!

This is not a defeat. When you react like this to LMR you actually increase your chances of having success with the same woman later on.

For example, in my personal history the women who resisted me the longest and were doing this stuff were two girls; one of them resisted me for 2 years, another one for 5 years… and both became my lovers after that time.

These are extreme cases of women with an extremely strong and wild primative part. The one who resisted me for two years turned out to be a real tiger in bed.

So believe in yourself!

This is the way to go when you want to properly escalate sexually with a woman you like and make her yours.



Helping men since 2004

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  1. Hi Franco, (sorry for my english but I used the google translator lol) my question is: when I’m not very interested in a girl and I think ‘I don’t need you, you need me “I am the prize, a challenge, I can create attraction and make me chase me but then for coherence I find hard to be the man who acts and penetrates (lol), instead when i act sexually, and I try to take what I want, it often seems for me to want something from her and she isn’t chasing me, how can I do both things together? To be direct and without shame, but at the same time being chased and to be the selector? thanks again for all you do 🙂

  2. Dear Jack,

    Thank you for your question. This question of yours means that you do really understand the seduction game.

    This is one of the most difficult things a man has to face when seducing a woman. Men who know how to do this properly have a lot of success with women.

    Yes you can do it, this way: the important thing is the frame you are coming from. If the frame of your masculine, penetrative act comes from a frame or higher value than you can be penetrative without the risk of being the chaser.

    This requires fine calibration. In practice what you need to follow is this: does she invest more energy into you compared to what you invest into her.

    When your masculine, penetrative act comes from a frame of value then it makes of you the prize. When your masculine act comes from a frame of lower value then she is the chased one.

    This why the art of attraction building is important: when you act on her emotions and make her laugh ( but so that your focus is in yourself having fun in the process and being outcome independent) and then when she is at her ”peak” of attraction you touch her and kiss her then your penetrative act comes from a frame of higher value.

    That plays in your favor. If you do that same thing without attractiong building and it comes out as ”asking” or ”begging” for something then you obtain the opposite effect.

    So you need to always follow the ”moment”, calibrate and when you do something and ask from yourself ”am I coming from a position of higher value?”

    When you build attraction and make her emotional then catch her on the ”emotional peak” with your masculine, penetrative act you always come from a position of higher value.

    Have a nice day!


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