Ego And Seduction. 5 Ways Dropping Your Ego Will Give You Success In Seduction And Female Relationships.

My friends, I learned about something like “seduction” when was 40 y.o. Before that I was living my life with innocence, as a so-called “Natural “, without being conscious that I am one. In a sense I had, as a Natural, “no Ego.” That was many years ago. One day I got into my hands a book by Ross Jeffrey and became interested in seduction. I got so many good things from the seduction community. Thanks for that. 

Anyway, I realized over time that I also got too much of an Ego. Here I am sharing with you the topic of how dropping your Ego is a good thing. Dropping your Ego will have you become much more powerful in the art of seduction. It will also have you better in charge of your female relationships. 

Definitions of Ego. 

Ego is all that you think you are. Your “I am “define your Ego. 

Ego is an image of yourself, created during your upbringing. 

Parenting, education, cultures, beliefs, life experiences form your Ego. 

Ego begins when you say: “I am “and then you begin to defend that thing. 

“I am a pickup artist. “ 

“I am a tough, dominant alpha male. “ 

“I am the prize in this relationship. “ 

Nice guys, clueless guys are victims of their Ego, too. 

So-called “alphas” are also victims of their Egos, only differently. 

The nice guy: “I was so sweet and helpful to her, and she dumped me. “ 

The Alpha: “I am going to have her kiss me up and do what I want. “ 

That’s Ego. 

You were a real predator before you said the word: “I am” after you say that and you begin to defend your image you… become much less of a predator. 

That’s because your “I am… “is a problem: it damages your focus. 

You, without noticing, shift your focus from the prey to yourself. 

You get inside your head. 

In the primitive, survival conditions you would soon be a dead man. 

Ego makes you needy and vulnerable. It survives on approval. 

That is a problem. 

The more you have an Ego the more you will need approval. 

Either from yourself or from the environment, or both. 

Your mammalian brain has emotions and an Ego. That can impair your reptile brain’s focus. 

Your reptile brain focuses only on survival. 

These are 5 ways your Ego damages your success with women and female relationships and what you can do about it. 

1. Lack of awareness. When you say: “I am…” you get inside your own head. That impairs your focus on the surroundings. Awareness of the surroundings is one of the things women always test in you. Well awareness of her and her needs:) This is because women are predators. They must be predators of men, because of the instinct of pregnancy. It is a matter of survival. When you are inside your head with your “I am” the smart woman will notice it and you… you will be her prey, not anymore the predator. 

Solution: awareness is all. Be “in the head” of the prey, not inside your head. 

2. Ego = neediness. When you say: “I am…” you begin to fight anything that can invalidate that image of yours. One possible outcome is: you begin to need approval. This makes you needy in the eyes of the woman. You begin to work to seek her approval. This can make of you a husband paying child support to an ex-wife. Your Ego gave her the chance of exploiting your neediness to get your property and the children. She was the predator. Not you. She focused on survival. You focused on defending your Ego. There is a wonderful Zen say: “Without a floor below your feet and without a ceiling above your head. “When you are without an Ego, you focus on the prey. You do not need to “defend” anything. There is nothing to “defend.“ You are not needy. 

Solution: when dating women and in a female relationship you have no Ego. There is nothing to defend. You do not need approval. There is nothing to approve. 

3. No Ego = No Approach Anxiety. If you have approach anxiety you are in “flight / fight” mode. You are fighting to preserve an image of yourself. You are not fighting to get her as a matter of survival. That makes your brain detect a danger that… it does not exist. At the moment your Ego “does not exist” you are the most powerful of all predators. When you think: “She is so hot, she is a 10, I must get her “, you get fast into flight/fight mode. You need to defend that “I must get her… “of yours. You must focus on her and go straight to the prey. Being without an Ego is what makes of you a powerful as a predator. You need to feel that “emptiness” inside your head when you go for the prey. 

Even a not so intelligent woman will manage to make of you her prey when your Ego makes you blind. This is because she fights for survival, while you…fight to defend an image. 

Solution: without an Ego you do not need to “reach a goal “, you go for the goal. You let your inner predator do his, job without having to defend anything. You have nothing to lose as you have nothing to defend. No flight/fight mode. No approach anxiety. 

4. Ego and outcome independence. With a big Ego you do not reach a goal in seduction. You feel that you “must” reach a goal and “must” defend yourself from an emotional break down, if you do not. When this happens, you do not focus on your quality of life. You do not focus on your well-being. You begin to sacrifice your quality of life and your well-being to defend that “I am, I must… “Women are wonderful as preys. They will sense that your real goal is not getting them and making her pregnant. They will sense that you “need” to reach your outcome to “be in peace” with your Ego. A woman will in a split of a second detect this as your inability to make her pregnant… at the most primitive level you become useless to her. She detects you would not make it to survive in difficult conditions. You are like a simple soldier, who raises his head over his cover, under the desire of validating his Ego. You will get killed. Be the sniper. Not that simple soldier. The sniper is a professional. He has no Ego. He does stuff. The sniper “is not” the stuff he does. 

Solution: you have no goal. You are reaching nothing; you have no Ego. You let your inner predator do his job, without your Ego getting on the way. If a woman senses that you have no “agenda” she will wonder how she can get you. That makes her self-conscious, more of a prey and you a predator. 

5. Ego and female relationships. So many guys get into trouble in female relationships because of their Ego. “I must buy her stuff to make her feel I am a real man. “, “I must have her get 20 orgasms in one night. “, “I must keep her from feeling attraction for the neighbor guy” “She was with another guy. Is she good exclusive relationship material? “- I have to admit that this last one makes my Ego smile at times – Not that those would not be problems… the Ego you put into that “I must“ makes you vulnerable, very vulnerable. In a relationship with a woman focus on “being” and “relating. “You have nothing you “must” do to make her happy. Only focus on “affecting “her with your masculinity. All that is Ego making of you vulnerable in her eyes. You become the prey, not the predator. Unless she is a real good girl, she will use that to predate you. 

When a woman senses that you have no Ego to defend, she will feel your raw masculinity under her skin. You have no image to defend. Nothing can get under your skin. A woman will love you for that because her goal is not you… it is the child. That is why I say that being a man is a lonely business. 

Of course, I do not mean you should go around impregnating women, guys! I am talking about her instinct of getting pregnant and how that affects her behavior. 

This and many other important aspects have a woman want you. 

Many other factors I have described in my last book:

“How to easily sleep with any woman you want. “

Get your copy!

“How To Easily Sleep With Any Woman You Want” by Franco

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Dating Advice And Female Relationship Coaching For Men That Actually Works!


  1. Hi Franco “, and thanks for this great essay. It really make sense.
    I wonder how this relate to women who negging in a relationship. Some say give the the drama, some say ignore her when she is negging. In both cases we are doing “we must” to solve the problem.
    Would you please say something about why women is negging in a relationship and how we should be aware of the ego in this situations?
    And what is the best way to solve a nagging women, ignore her or give her the drama?

    And one more thing. In one of your essay about attending and rewards, you say that you will make an assay about short attention takeaways. I am thankful if you could write it, or give me the link to the essay or book, if you already have written it.

    Thank you for your great work.

  2. Hello Brad, why would you want to spend time with a nagging woman? Think about it. Screening, screening, screening. When the advice is to “give” a woman drama the idea is to do that without really being emotionally involved in it. It is only a way of stimulating her addiction to strong emotions and then directing it into sex. Very often behind nagging and drama there is in the woman a non discharged tension. The idea is do it as a tool for creating tension, certainly not for choosing this kind of woman for a relationship. In my home country they say: “In matter of taste there can be no disputes” Just to say that yes, there are guys who enjoy being around a dramatic woman. In regard to Ego. When you drop the Ego nagging cannot affect you anymore. What you do then depends on what you want. Do you want to amp tension.. Or do you want to leave. When you drop the Ego you become only logic and instinct. I am afraid I did not keep the promise of writing the article on the topic of mini freeze outs I assume you mean that with short attention takeaways. Have a nice day you all!

  3. Thanks for a great feedback. Yah I was thinking about the mini freezeouts. I hope you can write it one day, because your essay about attention and rewards was eye opening. I had done it wrong without being aware of it. It is so easy to get bad advice from all the relationship/Pua coaches out there. Your essays and books has been spot on, and help me to understand my mistakes and females nature.


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