Gentlemen, at request I write little about freeze outs.
This is slang for cutting communication in a calibrated way.
We all know how women always wish this when around men: “I want you to talk to me about your feelings.” Or, “You should open up to me more.” Or “I want a man who is in touch with his emotions.”
You have read this on Tinder countless times: “If you are not able to speak, swipe left.” Or: “If all what you can say is a short sentence then, swipe left!”
A woman who is not satisfied in a relationship complains: “He never talks to me, he never communicates with me.” What a disappointment for nice, clueless guys when they do “communicate” end up being “only a friend” to her!
Or, if they are in a relationship she says: “It’s not you, it’s me.. I do not feel for you anymore.”
Well a modern woman will never admit this:
It’s about survival.
When compared to men, a woman needs much more a deep connection with her social network.
Men need the same thing much, much less.
The man knows he can live in a wood. Hunt, fish and survive alone.
A man does not get pregnant.
Because of the need for protection a woman needs to build a safe social network around her much
more than men.
She needs that when pregnant or when under the effect of a strong desire for pregnancy.
Well that is the same as saying: each time she is under the effect of a strong sexual desire!
Yes, I know: nowadays a woman can get pregnant without men and get support from society.
Believe me guys: it does not change that instinct.
It only changes the way it presents itself in the communication with men.
Actually, in modern, free-minded liberal societies that instinct gets much, much wilder and… Out of control.
Women, especially LSE (low self-esteem) women,
have conflicting feelings about this need.
A side in the woman needs it a lot. Another side in the woman does not like it.
Especially a LSE modern woman feels this as a “barrier to her independence.”
She cannot see the good things in it.
Many women try to “solve” this problem by adopting masculine behaviors.
For example, the LSE woman who answers to questions with “Hmm…” … “Yeah…” … “Oh…” is trying to control this instinct.
An HSE (high self-esteem) woman will be much better in touch with this instinct.
She will have good strategies to reach the man in the communication.
Those will have the man feel good about communicating with her.
One thing men get wrong (and many women, too) is this: a woman need for communication is not only a social need.
It is an instinct, at the extreme, especially in LSE women, can be a compulsion.
It can be something that overcomes her reason and her self-control.
The more she worries about survival, the more she seeks communication.
For this reason, many guys tend to avoid women, when they want to communicate too much.
They cannot stand the intolerable tension connected with it. They sense that there is something “strange” about it.
Why a woman on the level of her instincts wants you to bond with her and communicate with her all the time?
Simple: it is to get power over you. It is an attempt to covert hypnosis, driven by her instincts.
The more a man is strong, the more he will sense the “covert hypnosis” in female language when she wants to “communicate.”
So, when the clueless guy gives her all what she wants to much, if she is naive about men or maybe hates men she feels:
“Nice, I got him!”
That is the end of the challenge. That is the end of her sexual attraction towards him.
Now do not get me wrong: I do not mean you should not communicate with women.
I mean you should be aware of the role of her instinct and be able to know:
1. When to give communication.
2. When to withdraw communication.
And least but not last: you need to know how to put a price to your communication with her.
Sad to say… women end up despising men who are too easy.
So, what are “freeze outs?”
The art of the freeze out is when you know how and when you must reduce or cut the communication to:
1. Increase her desire.
2. Win sexual resistance on her behalf.
3. Correct improper behavior.
This works with a woman before you have her attracted to you as a tool to have her work for getting you.
This works with a woman when she is already attracted to you as a tool to have her “want more” of you.
If you never give communication to her you, will frustrate her to the point that she will become scared.
You will put her self-esteem down. It will work like a constant, misplaced NEG.
Too much desperation can have her act unpredictable and even dump you, or cheat on you.
If you give too much communication and attention you are being “easy” in her eyes.
This is true in particular in a situation where she is resisting sexual submission to you (in the case of LSE women).
It is true when she cannot relax and feel sexual receptiveness towards you (in the case of HSE women).
You will become “common” and “not interesting anymore.”
This translated into the language of her instinct means: “I already got him. No fun anymore. Let’s get forward hunting.”
Nature does not care about you and her.
Nature cares about having humanity get forward!
By failing to calibrate the above process you are giving her an opportunity to procreate… with another man!
Forget all that nonsense about: “I lost her because I was not talking about feelings with her!”
It is a much deeper thing.
When a woman is attempts to communicate, especially when she does that compulsively, ask yourself questions.
“Where her instincts are trying to have her go?”
There can be many, many reasons. In the coaching I can help you identify many of them.
The most common reason is an attempt of getting power over you guys.
It is a sign that she is very, very attracted to you and hunting you.
Then next question you ask from yourself.
What do I want from her?
In the coaching I notice how a problem many guys have is: they do not know what is their outcome.
Know your outcome!
If she is resisting what you want… you will reduce a little bit communication.
Believe me: this will induce respect in her, a desire to please you.
Her willingness to “negotiate” between her needs and yours will grow.
A freeze-out is this: you move your attention away from her. If necessary, you remove yourself from the interaction.
Do not verbalize it! It will work against you if you do.
For example: “I need to go to buy Christmas presents…” Or… “I have a meeting soon, I forgot! Need to go”
Without saying anything that relates to “why” you are cutting the communication!
This kind of freeze out is a more “massive” cut in communication.
You remove yourself from the interaction!
You leave for a long time, while being vague about when and how you will be available again.
Do not do this if you are facing “minor resistance!”
You must calibrate your freeze out to the level of resistance you are facing. Or it must be a fair response to the misbehaving behavior you are facing.
For example, massive drama, with a lack of respect towards you in a public place is a good reason for a major freeze out.
Token resistance to your sexual approach is not! It makes you look like an idiot!
Instead, when you are facing nicer, less extreme resistance mini-freeze outs are the way to go.
For example, she tests you. At the same time, you notice that she is very aroused, while still resisting your approach.
You run a mini freeze-out.
You get inside your head. Cut eye contact. Begin to relax and enjoy the landscape around.
You need to try this in real situations to see how ti works!
After a while, she will begin to chase you.
Other ways can be: talking to someone else in the venue.
Stare at your cell phone.
Pick a newspaper and begin to read the news.
You need to go to the bathroom in the middle of a conversation.
You need to go to buy some stuff from a shop close to the venue.
Believe me she will seek for communication with you.
She may say things: “Are you okay?” Or… “Are you angry at me.” Or “Please tell me something” (this last one I heard a zillion of times!)
She may reprehend you for doing something while she is talking to you.
She may tell you that you are impolite as you are not paying attention to her.
At this point do not argue, do not comment what she is saying at all!
Continue with your approach. With the mini-freeze out you had her invest energy into you!
If your aim was to kiss her, go for the kiss again.
If your aim was to touch her, do that.
If you were asking for something, ask again.
You, in practice, are putting a price to yourself!
Give this a try: it will surprise you how powerful this is.
As I said, if you want a good relationship with an HSE (high self-esteem) woman be very careful with this approach.
Do it very, very little and only if it is necessary.
You may lose a good woman if you misplace this kind of stuff.
A heterosexual, HSE woman seeks communication with you in a good, respectful way.
Her goal is to bond with you not only to use you… she wants to love you!
She has a good touch with her femininity.
She can distinguish between her desire to be a mother and her need for a good relationship with a man!
She is able to work for both!
Her way to build that is trying to communicate with you in a nice, good and respectful way.
She will not differ from the other women in the core process.
She still will have the need for emotional communication with you!
When you pay attention to those instincts and act on them you will have a woman want mind-blowing sex with you!
Get your copy!
“Manual of Seduction by Franco”
Dating And Female Relationship Advice For Men That Actually Works!
Hi Franco and thanks you so much for this grate essay. This is gold.
I have a suggestion for you my friend. I have looked at your books and all of your writings here. You are one of world best in this field. You have a deep understanding of male and female nature, and because of that, you should be a part of a weekly show with Rollo Tomassi, the author of The Rational Male. You and him together will be a super the perfect combination. He has his own show on YouTube every Sunday, but he also do show with others, every Saturday (Rule Zero). I will put the links her so you can look at these channels and hopefully contact Rollo, so you can be in the shows, because you are needed, and it is a good publicity for you work.
Back to your essay:
I wish I knew about this essay before. Because I lost a girl because I did not understand how to mini freezout.
One of my girls (low self-esteem – adventures) come home one day and was angry at me because I mad her angry in the morning, she did not talk to me and was freezing me out.
I ignored her to teach her a lesson so she would never do this to me again.
After a while she tried to communicate, and said I made her angry in the morning because I woke her up and send her to work, when she didn’t want to. I listened to her and said ok, I will not do it again, but I was watching TV at the same time. She said I was not serious and freez me out again and turn her back against me.
I watched TV and said I will talk to you after the program I was watching.
She became angry and went to bed naked.
After the show I went to bed and noticed she was angry, so I turned my back to her and ignored her more.
After a while she said:
I was hurting her, I said no you are hurting yourself, I have not done anything wrong.
She said I will leave you, I said I will not force you to stay.
She said I will never let you see me again, I said it is sad, but I still do not want to force you to stay.
She said I will never show love to you again, I ignored her.
And I ignored her all the night even if she was naked in the bed.
I was waiting for her to talk sweet to me so I could listen to her, but when she woke up in the morning, she packed her stuff and left.
She never come back again, and she did not answer my massage or phone call.
She found a boyfriend, but I can see that he is beta and she is not into him and using him for his recourses because she has bad economics.
She had his picture in Facebook but removed them after I while.
After reading your essay, I understand that I was an idiot. I should have talked to her and listened to her when she was seeking communication.
I think she was trying to have power over me, or maybe she was seeking commitment from me to satisfy her safty needs. What do you think?
Lesson learned, Thank you.
Hello Brad, I really appreciate Rollo and I often follow his very interesting show. Yes, for a woman communication is a deep need having it’s root in the world of her instincts. Important for a man to know when to communicate more and when to communicate less. The ultimate answer to “how much” to communicate does not exist because it is in the nature of the woman to attempt getting power over the man by mixed signals. The answer to the question “how much” is always “in the moment.”
Hi, btw, this essay has been mixer with the other essay (Ego And Seduction. 5 Ways Dropping Your Ego Will Give You Success In Seduction And Female Relationships.). I think it is a software error. Can you look at it because the essay about mini freezoute has disappeared.
Your friend Brad
hello Franco and thank you for giving us another pearl of wisdom on seduction.
I wondered how a woman reacts when she doesn’t want to have sex. in your seduction manual you say that the mechanism that a woman uses to create addiction is precisely sex.
Hello Simone, depends on the kind of woman. A more LSE woman will use putting a price to sex as a tool to obtain what she wants. A HSE woman will try to link sex and communication, bonding to get what she wants. The first one does not feel good. The second one feels very good.
Thank you Brad, yes a software error. Now post is accessible.
Hello Franco, im a guy, and i do this when you talk about the girl that need to communicate ”It can be something that overcomes her reason and her self-control.
The more she worries about survival, the more she seeks communication.”
I do it to, and im a guy, and right now i over communicate with a girl i want to seduce, and yes it overcomes my reason and my self control, and she is the one cutting communication, she is the one who is freezing out i think, but it’s organized, she freeze out always the same time and number of days, and come back to talk to me, but we talk, and in the middle of the conversation she go, sometimes dont come back, disappear four two, three, four, or five day and come back, and i can’t catch her more than few minutes in a conversation, she is very hard to catch in a conversation, she always leave even if the conversation is very good and attracts her (i can feel it when it’s good and when not).
And im the one worrying for my survival, shei in the contrary is calm about it (or at least seems calm maybe she worried in real ?) and, im the one that want to marry and have childrens, and to marry her ! cause i have 30 now and i feel old and im tiered of chasing girls and tired of not finding the one, and i think she’s the one, i want to make a family with her cause i like her so much she’s really a good person she have almost everything im looking in a woman, i think i will not find better that suits my standards.
And about this : “She may say things: “Are you okay?” Or… “Are you angry at me.” Or “Please tell me something” i do it too ? i told her that exactly two days ago when i sent her many messages on fb and she was not replying, now she replied and we talk.
When i read your article, i understand that im doing the mistakes of all the guys and also have the behaviour of the girl.. what do you think, is it possible ?
How to fix that ? Please Franco tell me what to read in your blog to fix it.
Hello Axel, you need to work on yourself and your inner state more. You job here is to have her become emotional, not yourself. You need to practice more coolness under pressure. You can be emotional only after, when you have her under your spell.
By the way this:
— “She may say things: “Are you okay?” Or… “Are you angry at me.” Or “Please tell me something”
Actually indicates that she IS being emotional. When she is saying this she is seeking communication with you.
You are a man and you are seeing this along a logical process. So you think that over FB she would have the same emotions compared to when she is saying: “Are you okay?” You need to have her emotional “on the spot” because.. her emotions can change all the time in course of time.
Focus on two things 1. Coolness under pressure (she is testing this by being unpredictable to you) 2. Address emotionality “on the spot”, do not think of an onward process. Women do not follow that logic. They focus on emotions “right now.”
Another thing: if you want to make a family never tell a woman that you want that. You job is to have her ask for it. When you are asking for it you are supplicating. That would not be a good start for a family.
Important: check if she over time upens up on the emotional level. If you notice over time that is uneasy about her body and her sexual desire. If she has negative feelings about herself she is not a good prospect for a family.
For making a family you want a woman who is receptive towards you on the emotional and sexual level. If she cannot be there even if you manage to seduce her making a family with her would be a bitter victory.
Stay well! Franco
Cutting communication is a powerful tool that in fact works not only on women but also on men. It just works on women more strongly. In regard to relationships I would advise to use this tool lightly with precise calibration. Elsewise it can lead to a war for power. As you know, if there is war, there is damage.
Once I was with a girl, who was very aware of the power of cutting communication and withdrawal. When I used that technique on her, even lightly, she would silently start acting in the same pattern towards me. She would suppress her need to ask “Are you ok?” or “Is everything fine?”, psychologically framing the interactions as “I am not chasing after you, you have to chase me”.
Furthermore, she would use other tools that are effective weapons on men: like latently flirting with other men in front of me to induce jealousy, act needy and force me to get me to invest my energy into her. It played out as a cold war, both parties tried to play “non-needy”, but none of us was naming the fact that it was going on openly. The dynamic ended up being: “the first one who speaks about the war, has lost the war”. It became a very non-loving and painful experience which effected my well-being.
Yes it needs to be carefully calibrated. To purpose of seduction is to have her cooperate not to start a war.