Betaising The Alpha Male

Betaising the alpha male: learn to detect in time and prevent your own emasculation as a man in female relationships

Here I describe the process of betaising the alpha male and how to reframe it to make your woman and yourself happy in the relationship.

The purpose of this article is positive. When you learn how to deal with this process properly you will be able to keep your woman indefinitely in a state of constant horniness for you.

I am sure this will motivate you to read on.. In the Manual of Seduction you can find more knowledge about the basics of how the female sexual instinct presents itself and how you can stimulate it to achieve more horniness in the female.

The article is meant to help men build happier relationships with their women by enhancing the attraction their women feel for them.

All the psychological tests a woman runs on a man are meant to achieve only one purpose: to screen out weaker males and achieve power over the alpha dominant male.

This is because this man will be the best protector for her and her children and the carrier of the best genes.

When she achieves her purpose: to shoot down weaker males and get for herself the Alpha male a process starts.

I call it the process of betaising the alpha male.

This process is largely unconscious for most of the women but there are exceptions. For example gold diggers are women who consciously use this process to gain power over a man with lot of money.

If you listen to bar discussions between women you will find out that they speak all the time about this subject: how to catch a powerful man and control him.

There are things women never tell to their men, not even to their most beloved husbands. Female psychology is carefully kept hidden from men and the academic environment does the same.

Anyway we assume that – in most of the cases – the process of betaising the alpha male is unconscious to the woman herself.

It is an instinct, a very strong instinct.

Why a woman would try to make weaker exactly that Prince she wanted so much as companion?

Well there are several reasons:

She wants to own him exclusively: The simplest reason in the world. If he is too strong he can go away.

Female competition: in the deep of their hearts women know that the most alpha of all the males is the one who is never exclusive to one woman.

Already the fact that he is agreeing to be “only with her” is in a way “beta” in her eyes and that´s why most of the women get so horny about the fantasy that their men could have sex with other women.

It is the so-called social proof: it tells to them that they made a good choice and that their man is better than others in matter of procreations and survival.

If many women want their man that means they did a good choice.

A sure way to lose your own woman in a relationship is to make her sure that no other woman wants you! This is very much the contrary of what they taught you at school or at religion class.

This does not necessarily mean to cheat on her.

Women like to fantasize about the idea that their man could potentially get other women, while being faithful to them. In a way, in the deeper of their psyche, they “sense” that if a man agrees to be only with them he is in a way agreeing to be a little bit “betaised”.

For the record betaised is = emasculated, castrated mentally.

So women have a deep need of making the alpha male weaker which would keep him from spreading his genes to other women.

The basic conflict of a woman – especially a modern woman – is to want her man to be at the same time “weak” and “strong.”

This is because when she will be pregnant and for a longer period after the birth of the child she will need protection and support from him.

If she does not have any psychological influence on him there is the risk that he will start to mess around exactly when she has the biggest need for his protection.

For these reasons the process of betaising is a process starting soon after the woman has shoot down weaker males and her relationship with an alpha male (= a male she feels as alpha) begins.

This process lasts in the relationship forever because women have in their deeper instincts:

They need to test from times to times is their own man still alpha.

At the same time the need to change him into beta, to make sure he will be there only for them.

This process is extremely dangerous for the relationship and one of the most dangerous killers of female sexual attraction if the man does not know how to properly deal with it.


Because if the man, in a way, agrees to be betaised by her she will lose her attraction for him totally. So the paradox is: what a woman really wants in the process of betaising is exactly the contrary of what she is really doing to him.

The situation creates in the woman a schizophrenic conflict.

A double message.

As female emotionality is prone to feel that the responsibility for her emotions is “outside there” and more specifically in you my male friend a woman will feel that the responsibility for what happens in the betaising process is not hers it is yours.

This makes of the betaising process even more dangerous for a man who is not able to read through it and deal with it.

The job of the man in a relationship is: never let her succeed in betaising you !

This does not mean necessarily to be unfaithful to her but it means to be aware of her betaising attempts and give her the right answers, from times to times.

In a way it means to understand that what a woman says/does in a relationship is not always what she really wants. This is for many women largely unconscious as said, they are not really lying, they are only acting under the influence of very strong instincts, which contains the contradiction:

“I have to make weaker exactly the man I like so much so that I can be sure he will become a provider to me and will not spread his genes elsewhere”

Now there is a danger for the woman in this process: how could she find sexually attractive a man who agrees to be made weaker???

He would not be anymore a man to her!

For this reason the job of the man in the relationship is to understand that when his woman tries to make him weaker she must be dealt with by not giving her that possibility, not even once, otherwise she will loose sexual attraction and the relationship will deteriorate.

By doing this he must keep in his mind that her betaising attempts are largely unconscious from the woman. Actually this is also a measure of psychological health of the individual woman: the more her betaising attempts are unconscious the more she is psychologically healthy (with some exception: for example depressed women who are afraid of sex and intimacy may use the betaising process as a way of avoiding sex with him)

Of course gold diggers, man haters and psychologically disturbed women of any kind are exceptions to this. Many of them are largely aware of this process and use it deliberately for their either political or sick purposes.

The only rational solution with them is: never take these women seriously for a relationship !

A normal woman, who loves her husband, is generally totally not conscious of this process. In fact if you try to talk about this with a normal woman she will never admit that it is like this. Instead a gold digger – in a rare moment of honesty – will be an artist in describing how she can easily betaise an alpha male.

I will never forget the comment of a gold digger when at our second meeting she realized she cannot reach my soul and my bank account: “Franco, am I getting old?”

Now let´s analyze how the process of betaising develops itself:

Repeating Tests Cyclically

Experts of seduction know that every woman tests men at the beginning of the mating dance to screen for the alpha male.

A less knows phenomenon is that a woman repeats her tests periodically in the relationship with her alpha male. This is to make sure that her man is still Alpha.

At the same time this is also a way to control him. Being tested constantly is very tough and it drains energy.

When she does that along the relationship if the man:

1. Fails to pass her tests.

2. Lets her control him.

Her sexual attraction begins to go down and she starts to escalate the attempts so to make him weaker and weaker psychologically and materially.

At this stage the men who enter the betaising process make the huge cognitive mistake of believing that she will have to “support them” in their weakness.

What actually happens is the exact contrary: the process escalates so to have the woman make them weaker and weaker.

Which are the most common tests?


Manipulation has a very bad reputation in male world but it is in woman´s world a widespread form of communication, which is not felt by women as “bad”. When a woman manipulates she feel that she is more “communicating” than doing something wrong.

Anyway in the deeper of her instincts a woman knows that if her man is easily manipulated by her, he is surely not alpha or if he was alpha now he is not powerful anymore.

So she will repeat her manipulation attempts in the relationship periodically. You can recognize the manipulation from the structure of her approach and the use of the word WE:

“What you think Darling if we would do this?”

“WE should tell that person this and this.”

“I am sure WE will deal with this problem together”

Or in the most extreme cases..

“This guy I am chatting with in Internet is only a friend, is it okay if I go on sharing emotions with him?” – then you find out that they were making out together a few months before in the guy`s apartment, maybe with her girlfriend they were teasing him sexually, maybe you find out that the word “friendship” for her meant that they were at night in the apartment of the guy and he was trying hard to have sex with her!

The most shocking example of the effect of female manipulation I know was a nice guy, who was bringing by car his girlfriend and her lover to the airport.

Girlfriend and lover were leaving for a trip to the same hotel and same room and he was still wondering “do they have a relationship or are they just friends?”

Believe me: this really happened! This actually happens! Real world stories are better than novels sometimes.

If the woman is psychologically healthy and with a good self-esteem she will only try to feed her tests to his mind so to see how he reacts to a fake danger but she will not escalate to damaging his interests or his safety. If she is a woman with good self-esteem she will simply leave him if – along the relationship – he fails her tests and gets betaised.

A woman with good self-esteem who realizes that her guy is scared of other men will sooner or later leave him.

If the woman is psychologically sick and has a bad self-esteem she will almost probably escalate the testing to “acting out” and in the above example she may do things like going to the other guy`s apartment, have sex with him and let her boyfriend/husband know it. This will be often for the secret wish that he will act like a man. In these case the provocative behavior may lead to tragic consequences like him being violent to her or harming himself.

Now this process is largely unconscious and innocent from the woman: she is testing her man to see if he will take her bullshit. If he does take it he is already betaised.

From there she knows she will be able to control him.

But what happens to her attraction? Well it simply dies! Because if he agrees to be manipulated that means he is not Alpha anymore!

For this reason the job of the man to never let her manipulate him so that she goes on feeling attracted to him!

In the case she would succeed in manipulating him she would harm herself on the longer term. She will lose attraction for him and their emotional life will die. It is the responsibility of the man to keep her from manipulating, because a woman will do absolutely nothing to quit her manipulation attempts. She is driven into doing it by very deep instincts.

In the same way a violent man stops his violence only when put to face the consequences a woman using manipulation stops herself only when she understand that her own man will not let her manipulate him.

Inducing Feelings of Guilt.

A man who takes too easily the role of the “guilty one” is not alpha. Women know this instinctively. If he asks too easily for forgiveness for his existence he is not alpha: he is the most beta of the men!

Real alpha males believe in themselves and they are more prone to do decisions, lead and act, instead of being masochists and suffer the torture of the eternal guilt.

But an alpha male without guilt can easily leave for war, hunting and maybe other women.

So one of the most widespread mean women use to betaise their men is to slowly have him into the frame: “You are the guilty one by default!”

This betaising mean is so widespread in Western culture that it gets itself even into the room of professional helpers all the time and rare professional helpers really recognize it´s importance in the dynamics of the couple relationship.

A woman knows instinctively that a powerful alpha male is always also the alpha of the group. If he feels all the time guilty he will be weak enough to want to protect her and her group and not another group nor leave for a war or hunting.

He will spend his energy torturing himself about his guilt instead of leaving for the forest, war or other women.

This can be done by the woman in so many ways:

“He is not choosing the right food at the supermarket.”

“He does not use the slippers when he is at home.”

“He does not fully understand her feelings”

“He is not sharing emotions with her enough.”

The limits are only in the fantasy!

Again, this contains ambivalence from her because – while making him feel guilty – what she really wants is exactly the opposite !

An alpha male who is not asking for forgiveness for his behavior and his pride.

This goes against the interest of the woman on the sexual and emotional level! She will lose attraction for him if he agrees to be made guilty about everything.

The job of the man – with the good effect of keeping her attraction on – is never to take the role of the guilty one!

That is Alpha!

One interesting phenomenon to observe is how the attempts of a woman to make her man guilty will escalate and assume a mechanical, stereotypical behavioral pattern when he is resisting them.

She will tend to repeat again and again the same attempts.

It is amazing to observe !

Be Maternal To Him.

In the deep of her instincts a woman knows that if a man needs a mother too much he is not alpha.

Anyway many women will try all what they can to be maternal to their men at different degrees! Why? Because the more he needs them the more they will control him.

Women know instinctively that need = power !

A real alpha male reacts instinctively against this! He will never agree to get used to a too pleasant treatment, because he is used to survive in the forest or in war by eating – at need – even small, ugly animals!

This does not mean not to give her the possibility to be good to him. That would kill spiritually almost every woman. Maternal instinct is very important to women – but – if the situation at home becomes so that the guy is not able to use washing machine, make food, take care of his clothes there, where a year before he was a proud warrior, able to cope with the forest and the war, then the situation is that he has been betaised = emasculated for good!

Result: her attraction for him will die.

The job of the man is: never get used to her being maternal to you. Her job is to be a woman to you, not a mother!

A real alpha is not a boy he is a man. Her maternal care is meant for the children and not for you guys!

Lack Of Respect.

This is not very used by healthy women but many women – especially those with a very passionate and strong instinctual world and with a strong sexual desire – will test from times to times in the relationship how their alpha will react if she crosses the border and lacks of respect to him.

Can be anything: flirting with someone else in front of his eyes, telling him something disrespectful, giving him orders and so on.

In the deep of her instincts a woman knows that if a guy does not react to her lack of respect he is not alpha.

Result: if the guy does not react he is betaised and her attraction for him will die.

So women are damaging themselves in this way. Because if the guy does not react their emotional life will die!

This is in their deepest instincts so it is the job of the man to never let her lack of respect to him!

The dead end of the process of betaising: subservient behavior from the man.

If the woman succeeds in the process of betaising and the guy is not able to counteract in the proper way the unhappy end will be: he will become subservient to her.

When a man fails the tests of the process of betaising and is not able to be alpha in the relationship woman’s attraction dies and the relationship dies.

Who would like to be with a man who is constantly begging, feels guilty, is easily manipulated? It is so boring and unattractive !

Important warning.

An increasing number of women in industrialized countries began to act differently in regard to this process. They choose from the beginning of the relationship guys who are still unsure and not alpha deliberately with the purpose to have children. This will not work on the longer-term and you will pay for it later on if you agree to this kind of arrangement.

For a guy it is a much better business to learn to become alpha and learn seduction skills instead of even thinking to marry a woman, who controls him! These women must be detected at the first meeting and avoided at any cost if you want a relationship or form a family!

Put your energy into business, pick-up, seduction and never enter a relationship where you are being made weaker !

To be able to understand the betaising process and how to deal with it successfully is a very important skill.

Franco, helping men since 2004

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  1. This is gold, thanks for sharing.
    How would you deal with broken promises eg:
    her (phone):…. i’m in the supermarket now so i’ll be home 5pm
    me: would buy me Red Bull please
    her: sure
    me: where is my red bull?
    her:i was so in rush, did not have time, but look I bought a good pizza

    (she did not have time to go from fruit section to energy drink section)

  2. This was a great article. Not many pickup guys get into the process of female psychology like you do. I just read your book Practical female psychology and it’s great. Ive read a lot of evo psych/ dating, seduction from most of the top guys and finally someone has come out and blown women and their best kept psych out of the water. This article was really helpful in explaining the conflicted female in the betaization process. I’m currently in a LTR and I’m trying to realize if this relationship is positive or negative. I know that they will always shit test, but where does one draw the line between shit test and emotional abuse.This article helped me see clearer the process and psychology behind betaization. Thank you.

  3. Hello Franco, im trying to seduce an Alpha girl, i know she is Alpha, im sure at 90% and i was alpha at first me too, but she didn’t betaised me, it’s me that i betaised myself, yes.. and i think also the seduction is reversed now, id dont know what happened to me, but it’s like im the girl and she’s the man, in the sense that im chasing her, behaving with lots and lots of emotional explosions, anger, jealousy, etc, and she is the calm one, her behaviour towards me is a behaviour of an Alpha, she is calm, she reassure me sometimes, she dont take it emotionnaly, she control herself, she dont enter in my emotional explosion, and she now what she want, and she tell me that she is selfish by nature, she’s not looking for love, and that before anything (love, relationship, sex) happen between us things need to be official first, she’s telling me that we have not set things officially, it means she want us to be an official couple first.
    But i screwed everything with my neediness and my over emotional investment.
    Now she dont reply alot, even sometimes she dont reply.
    This girl is very hot, and feminine, very feminine, she’s clearly Alpha, it’s an Alpha woman; she know what she want in life, she’s a good girl but also bad girl (but only in attitude, inside she’s very very good) and in control of herself, of her emotions, and of her life, at least she dont act in less of control, maybe she’s not always on control, but at least she can control what people see.
    I think she still like me, a little bit, i still have a chance to fix what i screwed, i attracted her, but i did many mistakes, i sent her nude pics she didn’t really wanted (it was a misunderstood, because she told me to send her nude pics but without showing my thing, and i chossed to send total nude pics), she’s angry to me about that, also the first day when i met her, i have tried to seduce her sister, of course i didn’t know she was her sister, and it was the first hour when i discovered her, i was in seduction program and was hitting on any hot girl that attracts me, i discovered little by little that she is an amazing girl, and only focused on her, so stopped step by step the seduction i became exclusive to seduce her, cause i started to falling in love, but she’s still angry how i talked to her sister the same way i approached her, she didn’t be able to forgot about it. Of course i explained to her, but don’t know now what she think. also i did many other mistakes, my path of seduction to her was in fact full of mistakes, but she still likes me i think, cause she still talking to me, and i feel that she would like to be with me but i screwed it because of all those mistakes and because of how i became, a guy that is needy, very in love with her (i dont know if this is a problem, if it’s not the emotional lack of control who is the problem) the emotional explosions, anger, jealousy when she talk to other guys, etc..
    But she now im a good guy (maybe also it’s a problem, cause im not a bad boy, maybe she understood it ? and im now boring ? maybe im boring cause i repeat the same behaviour, i never freez her out, always trying to seduce her, replying to all her messages, and replying alot, so over investment ?)
    Please Franco, what is the solution for me ? i will follow it letter by letter, i really want this girl.

  4. Malek please read again this statement of hers:

    “She is calm, she reassure me sometimes, she dont take it emotionnaly, she control herself, she dont enter in my emotional explosion, and she now what she want, and she tell me that she is selfish by nature, she’s not looking for love, and that before anything (love, relationship, sex) happen between us things need to be official first, she’s telling me that we have not set things officially, it means she want us to be an official couple first.”

    She is telling you she wants to make a deal with you where she gets all and you get nothing. Not even the smallest cell of her soul.

    Try this: “One day my Darling we will be on the wonderful space ship of a wonderful marriage. I will see you expressing your wonderful creativity in the kitchen, preparing wonderful meals for us, enjoying the wonderful hugging and the tremendous sense of belonging, while we go together towards the old days”

    While you say this touch her.

    Then come back to tell us what was her reaction.

    This girl is putting her female desire somewhere else other than in a marriage. You should not consider a woman who is controlling her desire and her emotions like this a prospect! I am not sure would you want to be betaised in a relationship like this!

  5. “If the woman is psychologically sick and has a bad self-esteem she will almost probably escalate the testing to “acting out” and in the above example she may do things like going to the other guy`s apartment, have sex with him and let her boyfriend/husband know it. This will be often for the secret wish that he will act like a man.”

    Does this mean that you should kick the guys ass? It seems like they indeed do want you to kick his ass, I’ve seen a lot of fights and women are usually turned on by the men who fight for respect.

  6. Hello Phil, thank you for your comment. An important aspect of seduction is that you need to “make her feel” like she would be in the company of what turns her on. You do not need to beat up people to do that. That would get you into trouble. Seduction needs to be a pleasant, fun thing. Not something that would get you into unnecessary problems. It is enough to be a good “actor” and act like you would be ruthless. Women do not have such a good touch with violence like men. For this reason they get into fights all the time on the work place. Men are more aware of power tensions and better in forming a hierarchy. For this reason women are “blue eyed” on the topic of violence. For this reason they get very often victims of true psychopaths. For women it is enough to “feel” like they are in the company of the tough guy. You can also tell indirect stories implying that you are a total asshole. You should be very subtle in doing this. Keep also in mind that women who react well to this strategy are usually very disturbed women. For this reasons have fun with them but do not consider them as good prospects for a relationship.

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