This is a report from a street pickup of mine.
I described in the Manual of Seduction the importance of screening women very early in the interaction with them. Here is a practical example of why that is so important.
I am a very, very busy guy, so street pickup is my favorite. I can do it while I go about my daily business and still sleep well at night.
The topic: why it is so important to be the selector of women and never, ever the selectee.
Well there are many, many reasons.
The most important reason is that the majority of men never get there.
Most of them are selected by women, in one way or another.
By being the selector you put yourself far above all the other men.
Let me tell you a story.
A few weeks ago, I was out with one of my friends, Peter.
He is one of my wingmen and after many years of fun, he is looking for a girlfriend.
We go out and do pickup together from time to time.
He is a great guy who has a good level of experience with women.
Anyway, on this particular occasion, he encountered something he was not expecting.
We were sitting in our favorite bar in my town. There weren’t so many nice girls out that evening.
We decided to have a walk around the railway station, which is quite close to the bar.
Suddenly I saw a very, very hot girl
She seemed to be from abroad, she looked like she could be Brazilian or Mexican.
Simply delicious.
I walked up to her and positioned myself to her left side.
This is important when opening a stranger out on the streets.
By coming from her side you don`t come off as threatening and she is more likely to open up to you.
Then I turned my head towards her, took out my camera and asked her if she would take a photo of my friend and me.
She politely agreed. While she had my beloved media mobile in her hands, I began to tease her…
“I am sure you have a really gentle hand. This is my baby, be careful.”,
“This is a very complex media telephone. I have the user manual with me if you need.”
“Ok, take it in your hands like this, don`t worry, it does not bite.” (while touching her arm)
“Can you see this small button here? Just push it slowly.. with a real gentle touch.”
Of course I was smiling and mirroring her giggling with my smiling.
This kind of stuff would seem stupid to anyone who has never done real life pickup in the field.
Well, as strange as it may seem, it works incredibly well for getting a girl who is a complete stranger to you aroused in a matter of
minutes.
For whatever reason, women don?t like it when guys initiate an “intelligent” conversation. Even the intelligent women are allergic to this.
They must be really, really worried about running into boring nice guys!
By using cocky and funny in this fashion, you are essentially putting yourself in the position of an older parent. The effect is she feels like the “helpless little girl” in the company of her Daddy.
This is not a bad place to start.
Of course not every girl likes this approach and you will have to be prepared for all kinds of surprises when you do this.
On the other hand, field experience has also taught me that the girls who do like cocky and funny usually turn out to be the most feminine ones.
Which is exactly what I want.
You can test girls in this way within the first few minutes of the pick up. If she is feminine and has a sense of humor she will begin to giggle at that point.
In my humble opinion, giggling is a sign that the deeper feminine biological part of her responds well to masculine dominance and
that.. tells me that she is very feminine on the deeper level of her instincts.
If she is masculine dominant or otherwise a pain in the ass, she will give you that “murderous look” and let you know, indirectly or
otherwise, that she cannot stand dominant men.
This is actually a good thing.
When she does this, she does you the favor of quickly letting you know that she is a waste of your time, freeing you to move along to the next girl.
Think of it as an efficient way to save your precious time.
So this girl began to giggle uncontrollably at my camera busting. This allowed my wing and I to create the emotional environment
necessary to have a nice conversation with her.
She told us that she was from Peru. After a while we began to feel like we should all go on chatting together.
We did a venue change and went back to the same bar we were at before we met her.
The evening at the bar was quite pleasant.
She was very interested in music. She was intelligent and educated.
I had gotten the impression at the railway station that she was very HSE (High self-esteem). I further tested her by keeping up with the cocky and funny.
It is important that you test girls during the process of pickup. Your testing will tell you how to proceed and which emotional places inside of her will respond to you.
Overdoing cocky and funny (just a little bit) is the way I detect if a woman is HSE.
If a woman has been a good sport and generally accepted my cocky and funny approach initially, yet becomes slightly irritated when I go a little too far, that is usually a good indicator that she has good self-esteem.
She wants to be valued as a person in the conversation and that was what she did: she became a little bit “uneasy” and began to seek rapport.
This is totally different compared to what a LSE woman (Low self-esteem) would do, especially if she is HD (High sexual drive).
A LSE/HD woman would become bored to death if you suddenly went from cocky and funny to generating rapport with her.
Seeking rapport after a load of cocky/funny and push/pull is the fastest way to lose a LSE (Low self-esteem) woman.
When I noticed that she was HSE and was getting little bit irritated, I stopped with the cocky and funny and began to chat with her a little more – but not too much – about music.
I like music myself so that was no problem.
When you get to this stage, especially regarding HSE women, there is another test to run.
You need to detect whether the girl is in provider-seeking mode or not.
All of my tests that evening told me that she was very much in boyfriend-seeking mode.
Being that I was not looking for that kind of relationship in my life at the time, but knowing that my wingman was, I asked him if he was interested in carrying on with her.
He liked the idea, so I eventually left him alone with her went to the desk of the bar to chat with other girls.
In the meantime, I had already used the situation to social proof myself with a girl at the desk who was following what I was doing
the Peruvian girl.
My wingman went on chatting with her.
I remained at the bar and they left.
After a week my wing sent me an email asking my opinion:
“Franco,
How are you?
Last weekend was really fun and I am sure you met many other girls that night.
I would like to ask your opinion about something that happened with that Peruvian girl.
As the night went on we got closer and closer with her.
We were talking about almost everything: her country, our country, her studies, her former relationships.
She is a very intelligent and fine lady.
At a certain point, at the end of the evening, she really surprised me: she began to touch me actively.
First she was touching my forearm. Then she began to touch my shoulder.
When we were walking out she was putting her arm behind my back.
I was quite puzzled: this was not a masculine dominant woman.
Not really.
She was giggling when you were busting her big time and seemed to be in all aspects a HSE feminine woman.
It really surprised me that she suddenly took the initiative.
Usually feminine women wait for the man to make a move.
For a second it crossed my mind that this must be some kind of test from her. Anyway I could not understand what it was and decided to escalate..
Do you remember Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman?
“When in doubt, fuck!”
Well the surprises continued when I escalated to touching her back.
She began to block me which puzzled me even more..
All the things she was doing did not fit with the picture we got at the beginning.
Well it did not end well. When I called her a week later, she told me that it?s better if we are just friends.
She told me that I am a great guy and that she is looking for something “different” at this time of her life.
That is not the behavior of a HSE feminine woman.
First, she touches me and goes all sexual on me, then she tells me we can only be friends and that she is looking for something else!
Anyway I remember you saying at the bar that in your opinion, she was looking for a serious relationship.
If she is looking for a serious relationship, then why does she give me sexual messages only to change her mind?
I know that women are changeable but this is too much!
Tell me what you think Franco.
See you next weekend,
Peter”
My reply:
“Hello Peter,
How are you?
Sorry to hear that.
What made me think that she was looking for a serious relationship was the fact that she was doing all that she could to control her own horniness at the bar.
She was trying to control herself too much. She liked you a lot; I noticed it from the way she was looking at you.
She was too controlling of herself at the beginning. She was going for rapport too fast. The reason she was doing that was to keep herself cool in order to better screen us.
What other reason than getting a boyfriend can a girl have when she does that?
Anyway, I am afraid that you have been tested in a way you did not expect.
Did you tell her your standards before you touched her back?
I bet you did not.
If what I suspect is true, what happened is that she decided that you are not good enough for her as future boyfriend or husband.
She was touching you to see how eager you were to have sex with her without telling her your standards.
You ran into the famous “player trap,” but this time she was setting the trap for you.
When we were at the bar I left because I quickly realized that no matter what we would have done, she would have gone for a provider anyway.
As I knew you are looking to get a girlfriend I left her to you.
She seemed to be a good choice for a girlfriend.
See, when she touched you, she was not being honest. She was actually touching you to detect if you were going to tell her your standards for a relationship or simply reciprocate her sexual gesture right away.
As you reciprocated the sexual gesture right away – without telling her what you expect and want from a woman – she felt that you have no standards.
In a word: you did not give her any justification for the attraction you felt for her other than wanting to have sex with her.
That?s ok if a girl is looking for an adventure, but it is not ok if she is looking for a boyfriend.
Peter, I am afraid that this girl had you discover your cards as a playboy..
This is sad because this time, you were really looking for a girlfriend!
You lost the frame of the selector Peter!
This girl is very HSE (High self-esteem) and wanted to know if you were going to tell her what you want from a woman before you get her into bed..
Next time a girl touches you, don?t forget to tell her what you expect from a woman before you touch her back!
She might want to touch you to detect if you are the selector or the selectee..
So let’s look at what happened to Peter.
He was really looking for a girlfriend this time and she … did not believe him!
And this girl.. she really was a good girl, absolutely fit for a relationship!
Sad!
As you see my dear friends, good girls are not necessarily “nice..” As I wrote in my last book Getting the good girls they can be quite ruthless when they are out hunting for a husband!
So never lose the frame of the selector. Tell girls your personal standards, even when they touch you.
You should tell a girl what kind of woman you want before you send her the message that you want to have sex with her.
Your friend, Franco”
Franco, helping men since 2004
