NLP Basics 2 – Eye Contact, Rapport, And Calibration

The NLP approach to communication utilizes a different style with each different person, rather than a one-size-fits-all type of approach.

In NLP, rapport is built by maximizing the similarities between two people, and by downplaying the differences. 

Many guys do understand the meaning behind female reactions to dominant eye contact. If she looks to the side, then she is not interested, but if she looks down, blushes, or is otherwise submissive, then she is interested.

The problem with this example is that it does not take calibration into account.

Perhaps she blushes out of shyness, in which case, if you continue with the dominant approach you will scare her off.

Maybe she blushes because she is sexually aroused by your approached and dominant eye contact. In this case, if you were to downgrade your approach instead of escalating towards more dominance, you would turn her off.

How can you gauge her response in advance? The answer is: you can´t. You have to calibrate.

Calibration is running “small tests” on her and watching her reactions, so you know which direction to go with your language and non-verbal communication to seduce her.

For example, if she blushes you can momentarily downgrade your approach, lower your voice, look shy yourself, and stay to her side and avoid face to face contact.

If she responds positively by establishing rapport with you, that means she was blushing out of shyness.

If this change breaks rapport and she withdraws, it means you were wrong and you can switch back to dominant eye contact and act more cocky and funny.

Calibrate, calibrate, calibrate while carefully watching her non-verbal reactions! These non-verbal reactions are like a “truth machine!”

People are constantly, unconsciously signaling how they want us to behave towards them. This is done non-verbally through their body language.

If you can observe the parts of a person’s body language that they have the least conscious awareness of, you are well on your way to establishing excellent rapport.

There is a belief in the seduction community that if you are dominant and break rapport you will get the woman, and if you have rapport without attraction that you will lose the woman.

This is absolutely not true! It is simply not that black and white. Rapport is about leadership, and by calibrating rapport you achieve emotional leadership over her. If that is not seductive, then what is?

Franco, helping men since 2004

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