My friends, society has always tried to limit male sexuality! It’s not a new thing. In many countries that still happens by the means of harsh punishments. More liberal societies create the same limits in a more subtle, psychological way.
A way of limiting male passion and sexual desire is the “traditional dating.” To achieve a greater success with girls you must avoid traditional dating.
There are many ways of doing this. One is to choose yourself the location where you will meet a girl. By doing that you influence the frame of the interaction with her.
Here some advice on how to avoid traditional dating.
A guy in my coaching said: “Influence the process by influencing the circumstances!” He was damn right! When you decide where you seduce a woman you are the hunter. When you “date” women in the frame of “traditional dating” you are the prey.
You are like a cheap product, exposed in a shop. She evaluates your worth. You are the object of evaluation.
Traditional dating is boring, a huge turn off for both the guy and the girl! When you agree to meet her “on a date” you are playing in her court. Why would you make things difficult for yourself?
Frame the interaction with her since the beginning in the proper way! Then you are never wrong. Your fear of losing a particular girl is your worst enemy. That fear keeps your from being the one to choose the playground.
In the realm of traditional dating she operates from a non written social agreement. That agreement states that she is the selector. When you hold the frame since the beginning you are the selector.
You should always meet women since the beginning so that you are the selector. Defining the location yourself is one of the several ways of doing that.
The location where you meet her is not only a mere fact. It is also a symbol. Always pay attention to symbols, not only facts. The location as a symbolic meaning: it tells who has more power.
When you guys have more power, you are attractive! Be the one how has more power! Since the beginning.
Here a few ideas of better locations to meet women.
Lets say this is a Tinder meeting or a same day meeting from a street pickup. Smile and say that you need to buy stuff for yourself. Ask her to come with you shopping.
Then bring her to your favorite male fashion shop. Wander with her around. Comment the clothes. Ask her advice on the style. Praise her, tell her you know how she is a great style judge.
Here the focus is you and your needs. Since the beginning. You have her do things for you. Then escalate your seduction.
Another one is to ask her to help you when you need to arrange a party. Then you put her in the kitchen (lol) to help you while you prepare the drinks. Again: she is helping you, you are the focus. Then escalate your seduction.
An academic meeting: you have some interest for something. Art, philosophy, sport, business or whatever. Women love men who have a life!
You ask her as “avec” – by the way: recently a girl run this on me. She told me she wants me as avec to a party. She also told me we should meet first to “check our chemistry” = traditional dating. I refused. She is still messaging me asking can we meet.
When you are there at the meeting you have her sit close to you and bore her with the details. While you do that escalate your seduction! You are the CEO she is your secretary. The secretary falls very often in love with her CEO! It’s a classic situation.
The walk on the beach. I have done this a lot. You say: “Let’s go to have a walk”. You can do this by telling her come to a place close to your house. You smile and say: “Let’s go to have a walk on the beach” Then you escalate your seduction.
Things to avoid: whatever connected with food, drink. Whatever connected with any kind of resources. Avoid also anything making her feel that you are asking for something. This will make her feel that she got you. End of the challenge for her.
Men hunt for sex. Women hunt for resources. Food, drink or other resources as part of the communication imply that she got you already. No challenge for her anymore.
Be prepared to face resistance! You will face resistance with some girls! Be prepared for the fact that many girls will resist this! Some will blush, some will show embarrassment, some others will show outright anger.
Don’t take it on you. Social conditioning taught her so. If you sense that is a comfort issue then build comfort. If you sense that is a belief of hers let her go! There is nothing you can do.
Trying to change her belief will be much more difficult than getting to the next prospect. You will smile and let the girls who show too much social conditioning go.
The girls who resist this will exactly be the ones who on a date will resist your seduction the most. They will be exactly the ones who are fishing for attention and validation on a date. The worst prospects of all.
This works for you also as a screening method. The most free minded girls will be happy to join you for something fun and different! Something different other than the boring traditional dating! The ones who are only looking for attention and free validation will resist you! Especially the ones who think that men should be subservient and please women.
By doing this you also help other guys: you are changing the culture!
Have fun reframing social conditioning guys!
Wait! One more thing:
Don’t forget to get your copy of Franco’s Manual of Seduction.
The best book on dating and seducing women for men ever written.
Here is your copy:
Stay well, Franco
www.FrancoSeduction.com
Dating Advice And Female Relationship Coaching For Men That Actually Works!
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Hi Franco; thanks for another good essay. I wonder how you can pass resistance in the beginning. I could not find it in your books. Forexample if you invite for a drink after attraction and a bit comfort, she can say she has a boyfriend, do not have time, she is for young/you are to old, she is not sure, or say sorry i do not think so.
I usually get this kind of resistance and i try to use humor/tease to pass them but it usually do not work. Do you have any advice for me; Any essay or books you can recomend? What does this kind of resistance means, is it a lack of attraction, comfort or rapport?
Thank you for your great work.
Hello Brad, great you are here with us. You can pass resistance by never doing anything upfront that makes her feel that she is entitled to say so. Something you did before that happened made her feel entitled to mention the boyfriend. Pre-emptive frame is of course an exception. Attraction building must be done so that she feels attracted to you and cannot – at any step – be sure did she get you for herself. Mostly if she mentions the boyfriend that means you did something before that, that made her feel she can say so. Ideally you will get her give you signs of interest before she can even be sure are you interested in her. About why she mentions boyfriend: well behind there can be many, many reasons. Lack of attraction could be only one of them. In general a woman will herself give you signs of interest when she feels emotional around you. For women feeling emotional around you is = he must be the one.
Interestingly, a lot of dating advice in its essence is about how to win the power struggle of who is the “selector” or who is the price. Eventually, this seems to be a game of options. The one who has, or can generate, better high quality options for himself is the selector, because he/she can walk away from any offer.